Not Yes... an update of sorts

Currently, "Not Yes" seems to be an answer we are getting frequently.

Our first "Not Yes" was in Washington while we were in the car with the real estate agent driving away from the property on which we were about to make an offer.  Doug's phone and my phone rang at the same time.  On my line was our Houston real estate agent informing us that the sale on our house had fallen through and on Doug's line was his boss back pedaling, insisting he come back to Houston in January after he had, on a previous call, told him he was sure it would be "no big deal" if we relocated to Washington.

We've had many "Not Yeses" since then.

• The Legends House, perfect square footage, good location, and an IRS lien.
• A very nice rental in a desirable neighborhood... not available until July.
• A five bedroom, three bedroom, 4000 square foot house, in our price range... doesn't allow children, desires a retired couple. (Who does that?!)
• House after house after house with offers made just before we arrived, sellers deciding not to sell, and so many other circumstances that prevented us from acquiring the house.

I have been praying for a home to just settle in.

And I feel like God is truly challenging me with this:

This world is not my home.  I am not SUPPOSED TO feel settled here!  Like a soldier on the battlefield I can have "base" but my "base" is not my home.

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.
Philippians 3:20

And this, so this. Philippians 4:12-13
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

We are still currently looking for a home to rent or buy if it's right.  But are content to wait on the LORD.  (OK, maybe content is a bit of a faith filled statement, but we are trying)

(Here's our specs in case you're wondering 5 bdrm, 3 bath, 3500sq ft minimum, with room for kids to play outside $350K or less or $2500/month)

And we are not sure if this is a NOT YES or not...

We now have more opportunity to trust the Lord since Doug's company was sold a few weeks ago and he gets to present his department to the bosses of the new company, "So they can know all that they will need to know."  Nice.  We've been down this road before and despite reassurances, we don't feel very reassured. 

It's nice to sing this song, it's another thing entirely to live it. 

 

 

 

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name

Keep my eyes above the waves

My soul will rest in Your embrace

I am Yours and You are mine

 

My husband assured me today that God hasn't forgotten us.  I burst into tears.  Truly, I did.  He then relayed a conversation that he had this morning that is so GOD.  No one will ever convince me it's a coincidence. 

Doug had filled out a prayer request and took it to the little box on the wall, there was a guy standing there. This conversation ensued:

Doug: "Are you a prayer guy?"
Usher: "No, I'm an usher" Pause... "But I can pray, I guess."
Doug: "Well, I'm a training manager and my company was just bought out by a larger company and my job is a little uncertain right now"
Usher: Chuckling, "Well, now I know why God sent you to me.  You see, I'm a trainer. A few weeks ago, my company was bought out and my job was uncertain.  I ended up getting offered another position in the new company."

WHAT?! THE NOT-A-PRAYER-GUY STANDING AT THE EXACT SPOT MY (never-fills-out prayer-requests) HUSBAND WALKED TO!

OK, OK, OK.

LORD, I WILL TRUST YOU!

Housing, Employment, Adoption, Children, Energy, Schooling...


                    trust...

Trust...

TRUST...

 

 

 

 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

 

 

P.S. I had literally just finished writing this post and handing it to my husband to proofread for me when my six year old Sarah started shouting, "COME OUTSIDE AND SEE THE RAINBOW!" over and over.  We all went and were inspired by the sign of God's promise.  Truly, He has not forgotten us.

 

 

 

 



 



Back Home from China.. Without My Heart.

I left it there.

At least a large chunk of it.

I have hesitated to write because black and white words on a page seem so inadequate to capture the work God began and continues in me on this trip to China. But I want to share and give thanks for the work God has done.

In China, I had to pinch myself several times to realize I really was in China.  Surreal was the word that I kept using over and over again.

I was really there, in that big, blue house! 

As we toured that first afternoon we peeked into colorful rooms with Nannies all dressed in dark slacks, black cloth slippers, and red button up shirts holding up babies, waving their little hands at us. Room after room filled with little souls beckoned.  As soon as we heard the house rules we were turned loose to play with the kids. The thing we had eagerly anticipated was finally granted.

As I entered that first room, however, it wasn't the playtime I had envisioned.  I expected that the babies would be delighted to be held by strangers, (Yes, I am a mother to nine, but apparently reality was suspended in my mind regarding this) the nannies would be thrilled to have extra hands, and the playtime would be smooth and joyful.

While it was joyful, it was in a  way that I did not expect.  As I comforted a feverish, obviously sick, little one with a malformed head. And rocked another sick little guy, my mind raced.

Is it wrong to want to hold the cute ones?

God, you made each of these little ones, you see them and love them, yet they are not healed.

How can I ever communicate the depth of need that is here to those back home?

And the starkest reality of all.  Maria's Big House Of Hope is still an orphanage.

Although I was tempted to despair, the joy previously mentioned found me in the laugh of the little man I tickled with Down Syndrome who had the happiest disposition despite his situation. It was in the soft snuggle and the sweet giggle of my Emee a six month old precious girl I bounced on my lap and lifted over my head to fly through the air.  Joy and hope were found in the midst of great suffering and pain. Sorrow and suffering mingled together with joy and hope as gasping breaths and giggles of delight occurred side by side in the beautiful mess that was my experience at Maria's.

Being at Maria's Big House of Hope stirred my heart in all kinds of ways.  It was the best, hardest, most painful and delightful place God allowed me to SEE.

I still don't know the full extent of what God is doing or why He sent me to the other side of the planet to love on these sweet, precious, amazing little souls who have survived and even thrived against all odds.  This work is His and it's messy and mysterious, beautiful and formidable.

But GOD...

I've just returned home from Maria's Big House of Hope and to say it has been an adventure would be an understatement!  

After a fourteen hour flight, a twelve hour flip flop time change, and a night stay over in Beijing we finally arrived at Maria's. The staff heroes who deal with the heartbreak of orphan care day in and day out greeted us with such warmth and enthusiasm. We took a quick tour during which I could not keep my leaky eyes off the sweet babies in all the colorful Disney-themed rooms. 

We familiarized ourselves with the facility and its workings, loved on big and little babies, and searched our hearts in an attempt to understand what God was beginning in us at Maria's. Brokenness is the recurring theme in us, in China, and yes, even at a place as wonderful as Maria's. The effects of the fall, sin, and death are simply overwhelming and oppressive. "BUT GOD", two of my favorite words (learned from painful trials in my own life)... 

But God is here.  And God SEES and knows each of these children and has a life, a purpose, and a hope for them. 

.

Opening my daughters bible, which was brought with me because its smaller than mine, I saw psalm ten highlighted with a pink marker. Psalm ten is somewhat obscure, and I don't ever recall reading it with her.  But because it caught my eye, I read it and the following verse just jumped off the page  at me. 

Psalm 10:14 says, "But you oh God do see trouble and grief, you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you, you are the helper of the fatherless." 

Did you see that?! "BUT GOD!"  He is the helper of the fatherless!

His word is true.  God is their help.  The cute ones, the strong ones, the frail and the weak, we all need a savior. And thankfully that savior is not me.  It's Him and Him alone.  God alone can do the massive work needed to bring relief and love to the orphans of China.  And I'm so glad He will. 

Go Big or GO HOME!

Four days...

I was talking with someone today expressing my feelings of excitement and outright panic about my upcoming China trip.  
The last time I left my kids I went to San Antonio with my husband for 2 nights.  It was at least three years ago.  

I just don't leave them... ever.  

I laughingly said, "It's not like a weekend get away across town But I am going to  China,  for NINE DAYS!!!

and she sweetly said to me, "Well...

GO BIG OR GO HOME!" 

I LOVE IT! 

When God does something where HE gets the glory it's bigger and more and harder and yes, even impossible.  He is sending me.  He has provided all the funds.  And imagine, He even has a plan for my family while I'm gone! 

I am going to TRUST HIM!  

Logistically, I am so thankful God has provided a friend who lives in Chicago who will take me to the airport so the kids will be able to say "see you soon" without rushing or being shooed away by security.  

Doug and the kids plan to move to a new campsite in Wisconsin, maybe up north while I'm out of the country.  

For those keeping score, Caleb is still nursing but I've cut back.  I've been able to pump a little for him to have while I'm gone, but mostly he will drink milk from a bottle and eat regular food.  He continues to grow so quickly.  His first birthday is July 19, the day I leave.  I have to believe God orchestrated it that way for his reasons.  

I'm really not terribly concerned for his eating, it's his sleeping (or lack thereof) that I worry about.  I have worked the night shift, and the day shift for a year.  I guess it ends now. Or at least I get an extended break!  If you'd make this a matter of prayer I'd be grateful. 


Everyone else will manage fine.  Doug took the week off work and Emily is already planning meals... mostly what junk food they'll eat while I'm gone. 

The sweet fruit of training children to work is paying off big time now.  I couldn't go on this trip if they're weren't as capable as they are.  With Doug at the helm, and Emily as his first mate, I know things will go swimmingly.  Ok, maybe not swimmingly, but the boat won't sink ;)

I am told there is wifi at Maria's Big House, so I plan on using it to keep you all updated.  Doug and Emily also can access my blog and facebook to update in my stead.  

I. AM. GOING. TO. CHINA! 

Prayers are always coveted.  

Moving On to Wisconsin

"Many hands make light work," is a phrase we use often at our house.  And we saw it in action last night. Everyone pitched in to pack up and in about one hour the entire campsite and trailer were packed and ready to go!  Today we are moving back into Central time, to south eastern Wisconsin, about 60 miles north of Chicago. Some of the us like moving frequently and some like staying put longer.  

I saw this beautiful pillow in a shop in Nashville, IN (which was very much like Old Town Spring). This store had artwork that was simply inspiring! I loved it.  I took lots of pics, but the butterfly "Embrace Change" pillow was my favorite.  I almost bought it.  Seriously.  



In New Carlisle we did end up enjoying the second half of our week at this campsite a little more than we first expected.  The first few days we had a creepy neighbor that really made us uncomfortable after he left, we seemed to relax and enjoy "Mini Mountain" for what it is. This was our first experience of feeling that red flag and caution about someone we met on the road.  For the most part we have had such a great time meeting sweet families and making new friends. 

The parks up north here have limited hook ups with electricity being the only thing available on most campsites.  So we use our on board water for necessities, buy drinking water, and use the campground showers and sinks.  It's not most convenient, but it works for a week at a time.  We will be at our next site until Friday when a high school friend who lives near Chicago will take me to the airport where I will fly a world away for nine days. 

God is going to do a good work in us all  while I am gone, I am certain.  I am praying for spiritual renewal, new vision, perspective, and his will to be accomplished.  Please pray for my family as they endure and grow, and for goodness sake, even have some fun while I am gone!  And pray for me that I may spread the good news, hug some tiny souls, and hear clearly what God has in store. 

Have a blessed Sunday, enjoy fellowshipping with the saints, and LOVE those people God outs in your path today!

WHY am I Going to CHINA?

It's one of the most frequent questions that comes up.

In short the answer to this is:

James 1:27

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: 

to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, 

and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

The deeper answer to the WHY question is:

My heart has been stirred over and over through the years following the adoption journeys of my friends Jen Johnson and Susanna Musser , and the very courageous Katie in Uganda as they have followed the Lord by adopting children with special needs from (or in) foreign countries.  

Their faith, persistence, hope, and compassion are truly inspiring.  If you want to know Jesus, get to know these women. 

The need is great, but our SAVIOR is even greater! He moves in all kinds of ways to accomplish His work in this fallen world, a world where parents die or can't or won't care for their children.  

Not everyone is called to adopt.  But everyone is called to DO SOMETHING.  One of the very clear commands in scripture is to "visit orphans and widows in their distress." and that is what this trip is all about for me. 

What are you doing to fulfill that command? What is God calling you to do? 

Pray? 

Give?

Go? 

Adopt?

There are literally thousands of organizations you can work with to "visit orphans and widows in their distress."  Ask the Lord what HE wants you to do and JUST DO IT! 

If God can send me, a mom of nine children, living in a RV, traveling the U.S. He can send ANYONE! 

It's His work, be a part of it. 

What?? TORNADOES!? (Post 3)

Well, I didn't see THAT coming! 

God gave us an opportunity to learn about weathering storms and trusting Him.

Last evening I took my four oldest kids to church with our friends the Millers.  As the kids settled in with their friends I took advantage of the quiet and the wifi connection to blog. I noticed lots of wind and amazing-looking swirly clouds overhead.  The evening wore on and I worked on my post.  Before I knew it the kids were done and we piled in the car headed to the grocery store. 

After shopping, I planned to wrack up major FUN MOM points by taking the kids to frozen yogurt right across the way.  I shot off a quick text to Doug to tell him our plans and he responded, "MAJOR STORMS coming, HEAD HOME NOW."  At that moment, I was about an hour west of Glen Rose where we are camping.  Sharing the major deficit of FUN MOM points with Doug, I announced, as we pulled up to the yogurt shop, "Mr. Doug says we have to head home now, as soon as possible, there are major storms coming."  We said our quick goodbyes and started our journey home.  

The sky lit up over and over with the most amazing display of silent lightning the kids and I have ever seen. Driving down the hilly, country roads in a huge cracker box while the wind was gusting especially in the areas where there weren't trees, we were pretty much blown hither and to.  Fortunately, there was little traffic so I essentially owned the road.  It didn't take long to realize I was driving INTO the storm.  

Later I would learn that the storm centered just 20 miles north of where we driving produced a huge, mile-wide tornado that caused tragic casualties and destruction. 

Minutes passed like hours as all the "dark and stormy night" scenes from movies I've seen played through my mind. Thankfully, Doug was able to email my phone keeping us updated on the storm.  Hannah read me the texts and I had her report back to him every time we passed a landmark...just in case.  

As the storm intensified the tension in the car grew.  So we prayed.  We talked about the POWER of God and how the Bible says He is bigger than these storms, His voice is like the thunder and lighting comes out of His mouth. As I drove, I talked to the kids about trust. We asked the Lord to keep us safe and lead us home. We talked about faith and believing that God sees us, hears us, and has a plan even in the midst of scary circumstances. In times of fear, when the situation truly is out of control and the options are despair or trust. We choose trust.

We turned onto the park road leading to our campsite just as the skies opened up and POURED rain.  The visibility went down to almost nothing as I maneuvered the van the last mile through the park to the campsite. We pulled up, ran inside, and all sat together very thankful to be "home."  

I know the kids and I will always remember the amazing lightning storm, the POWER of God, praying, crying out, and trusting Him in the midst of fear.   

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.  ~ Proverbs 3