Here’s the news you’ve long been waiting for—your dossier was sent to China today (12/12/2014)! J
After months and months of mailing documents hither and yon, waiting on signatures, paying fee upon fee, we finally completed our paper chase. Our agency translated it and as we speak it's being hand-carried to the CCCWA in China. Within three to five days we should receive notification that our dossier was delivered, then three to five weeks after that we will have our official Log-In Date. We are still hoping to travel in the spring.
There are two babies who will not grow up in institutions, who will know the love of a family, who will have a Daddy and Mommy, brothers and sisters. And that makes my heart exceedingly glad.
For all of you who helped us with our expenses and work thus far, we extend a huge
THANK YOU!!!
If you wanted to help, but have not done so you can give to a 501c3 AdoptTogether, Paypal me at my email, or simply mail a check.
Our friends atBuster's Brew are passionate about adoption. Last night they opened their shop as a venue for a Christmas Coffee Tasting and Silent Auction.
We had several friends and local businesses generously donate sixteen items for our auction; all except one sold and $692 was collected from auction items.
Dannenfelser Chiropractic
Tracy Jean Hair Styling at Moriri Town Center
Young Living Essential Oils, Christin Pivero
Good Life Goodies
Take & Bake Meals
Magnolia Acres Farm
PylesofPics, Etsy Shop
The immediate need we are fundraising for is our 2nd Agency Fee- $2,350 and CCCWA (China Log-in) Fee- $1,290 = $3640. This amount is due before December 31.
In all last night we received nearly $900.00
in ticket sales, auction items sold, and tshirt sales.
To date we have $2670 toward our goal. REJOICE WITH US!!!
P.S. If you missed the opportunity to give last night, there is still time!
I've updated FaceBook, but many of you stay in touch through my blog which has been sorely neglected the past few months. After we moved into our house, it seemed as though someone hit the fast forward button and time to write was lost in the shuffle.
Life has been full in a very good way and we are finding all our new normals just in time to upheave them again!
Most of you know, last April we officially started our adoption journey. We were matched with a sweet girl who is six months younger than Caleb.
ISN'T SHE A DOLLY!!!
Well, a month or two ago, we were contacted by our agency with the news that this little guy was available too, so we decided to expand our family by TWO! We are very excited about this amazing opportunity for our family.
HE IS SO PRECIOUS!!!
This guy is six months older than Caleb.
At this point in our GREAT ADOPTION ADVENTURE we are about done with our dossier, in fact we have sent all but one document to our agency for final review. After our dossier is completed and goes to China, hopefully by the end of the year, we hope to be able to travel to get these babies by April or May 2015.
We are very excited about this. And THANKFUL that God would choose to use us in this way.
By the end of the year, when we mail our dossier to China, we will have $3640 in fees due. If you would like to join hands with us and give toward these specific fees we would be so grateful. We have a 501c3 ministry who is partnering with us where you can give easily online.
I'm trying to figure out how to put their snazzy button here, but until then, you can use this link:
Almost Thanksgiving, tick tock, tick tock time passes by. How can it be that I've lived almost a year with out my mom. I remember.
She loved the Holidays... I mean really loved them. Today I was in a store with my girls that was decorated exceedingly early for Christmas. I became excited with my kids, we talked about decor and lights and meals. But tonight, in the quiet, I ache. I miss her. I talked to my mom nearly everyday. I told her about all the little mundane details that no one else cares about and they mattered to her. She delighted in each of the kids and the little things they had said and done each day.
I would tell her about the two little lizards Natalie and I almost sat on in the chairs, in the cold early morning while stopping at our friend's for a break from our morning jog. They were all curled up together as chilled as could be. Thankfully I saw them before I sat down, I picked them up and incubated them in my hands, hot from jogging. They were so still we thought one of them was dead until it started squirming. Then it ran away. She would've cared about that story.
And then how I was putting a roast and veggies in the crock pot and decided to call some friends on a whim and invite them over for dinner that night. She would've cared about that.
And this, she would want to see this silliness
And how Caleb has had a burst of words lately and can say difficult names like "Lily" but still does the sign for "please" and can't say the word. Then later she'd call me and tell me about a commercial she had seen or a show she had watched that had just the solution for his speech issue. BECAUSE SHE CARED.
I miss her with all of my heart. We will meet again someday and I know that now she is ALIVE!, more alive than she ever was on this planet. When we meet again I plan to just sit and hold her hand and be there with her, maybe much like the last few days I had with her. So precious was the gift of those days God arranged for us last year.
So as we approach Thanksgiving, I'm grateful. I'm grateful for a mom who loved Jesus and taught me to do the same. I'm grateful for a mom who chose a spouse who became my dad. And I'm eternally grateful for our living hope, Who makes all things new, and gives me the knowledge that Mom and I will worship Him together in eternity.
Oh ya'll... my dogs are barkin' and my heart is full! Today was FILLED to the brim with fellowship, friends, fun, and WORK!
We moved in to our new house, sort of...
When you're doing something with the Audirsches you KNOW it's going to be an adventure. Well, due to unforeseen circumstances, we ended up without power in our new house until Monday. So although the house was air-conditioned in the morning, the power was turned off about 10am. We worked for the remainder of the hot, humid, Houston day without A/C or fans.
I have the most amazing friends in the world... seriously. First off, none of them left when they found out there was no A/C!
Secondly, My kitchen is UNPACKED and ready to be used. Amazingly, my friend Jen Johnson and her daughter Joy washed every dish that was wrapped in newspaper (and that was almost everything) and found a LOGICAL home for it in my cupboard or pantry. She was the brains in the kitchen and kept us going.
My friends Kristen Coovrey, Michelle, Mandy, and Meg Bosquez, unloaded box after box.
We had an ARMY of help! Travis called his airsoft buddies last week and I'm proud to say
Greg and Adam Carman, David Salisbury and Jake Fontz, showed up to do the heavy lifting and lift they did! Thanks Guys!
And Hannah asked her friend Olivia Salisbury who also came and was a BIG help!
Michael Rivera and Jason Bosquez were the Tetris Packers Extraordinaire helping put everything on the trailer from the storage unit to go to the house.
Ken, Claudia and Natalie Hope loaded their car up multiple times and even drove one of our vehicles for us loaded up with more stuff.
My friend Kelly Sakal, loaned us her sixteen year old son, Bryce for the day.
Tonight, we have a full on turkey dinner with all the trimmings prepared by my dear friend Anne Trapani, And I have a bottle of yummy wine from my friend (whose identity I'll protect, see sistah, I gotcher back!)
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! to all of you who helped!
Earlier this week we moved our beloved RV from it's spot at the Rock'n E RV park in Cold Spring where we have stayed for the last five months to a storage facility less than one mile from our new house in Kingwood.
If you talked to us when we first arrived back in Houston we would have told you we were looking for a house very different from the one we ended up buying. I keep telling people this house is like BATMAN! "It's not the hero we want, but it's the hero we need." And it really is a beautiful house!
Trusting that God knows our needs better than we do, we know God has been with us each step of the way and although His direction for us may not be clear our hearts are turned toward Him desiring His glory in our lives, in our journey as individuals and as a family.
So as we bring to a close our epic 10,000 mile, sixteen month, 22 state, 'round the USA adventure which has included amazing sights of God's creation, fantastic experiences of natural and man-made wonders, and pain and joy and despair and hope we look to the author and finisher of our faith for the next chapter.
He is writing our story and we are so blessed to have you be part of it.
In the next year, if the Lord wills, our family will expand by one Chinese daughter which really is the focus of the next few months. Well, that and moving into a new house and getting nine kids back to homeschool and routine.
We are so blessed that you have come along for the ride and we hope that you will stay with us as we journey together into the coming year.
I suspect she has a new birthday now, but I'm still kind of attached to this day. After all, I celebrated it every year of my life until now. So I think I'll still choose to celebrate this day for this wonderful woman who was with me, talking to me nearly every day for my entire life. OK, there were some days when I bombed her calls, some days I didn't have answers to the questions she would ask and some days that were just too busy. But mostly, we talked.
I remember when my mom turned thirty seven, my brother, my friend Erika, and I made HAPPY BIRTHDAY signs on poster board and put them up on our front and back windows announcing my (single) mother was "37 TODAY!" I'm sure she really appreciated that.
I'm trying to remember other birthdays but mostly I just remember snapshots. In recent years I know she enjoyed going out to dinner with friends. She was usually in Washington in July because Arizona was just too hot for her this time of year.
Happy Birthday Mom. If you were here of course I would call you and I would have sent you flowers, probably a day or two late, but the bouquet would have included Star Lilies.
Mom's birthday is July 24th. She would have turned 71. It's been seven months since my Mom's graduation (as I've decided to call it) to Heaven.
The other morning a friend asked on her FB page "What do I do with a Gift of Faith?" I immediately thought of my dear mother and shared my post from mom's Memorial service with her. Reminded of my mom, I re-read some of the blog posts from last December. I came upon this statement penned by yours truly just a few days before the storm hit.
"What's after Phoenix?" you ask. We don't know. But we do know that the next several weeks will hold a beautiful celebration of Our Wonderful Savior's birth with my parents. God is good, all the time, even in the dark when we don't see the way."
Do you see that? "God is good, all the time, even in the dark when we don't see the way."
God knew what was coming when I so naively wrote those fateful words. "we do know that...."
NOTHING! NOTHING! THAT'S WHAT WE KNOW! NOT A GOSH DARN THING!
James 4:13-15 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.”Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”
Lesson learned... sort of. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I feel a little mocked by my blog post.
It's been a little dark the past few months.
But we are attempting to lean on The Lord day by day. Trusting, listening, waiting, being content are all skills that have grown in each of us over the last several months.
It is not easy, or for the faint of heart.
We made an offer, had inspections, and put money down on a house in Kingwood, TX. We are supposed to close August 8. It will be nice to have a little elbow room (and I do mean a little, especially in the back yard!)
I've changed my prayers lately to less of "God please do this and God please do that" to "Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be your Name, Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven..." It's a tentative place to be this not knowing and trying to trust in the dark. But it's where we are.
We are choosing gratefulness and joy day by day, rather moment by moment as we wait.
So, I'm cleaning out my email inbox because it's hotter than hell outside and the inside of the RV is clean and well, I have to clean something. Apparently early in the day on 12/19, the day my mother died, I emailed this to myself from Amazon.
I can't remember now if I wanted it for myself or wanted to get it for Mom.
Today has been such an emotional day and then I run across this. Why? why today? Today when I finally took a check for earnest money to our realtor for a house that is a Plan B for us. I could sit and list all the things it's not but that really doesn't profit me much. It's sufficient even if the yard is small. It's in a good location, it's a good size, and has enough bedrooms and bathrooms and maybe it's like an arranged marriage, in time we will grow to love it by an act of our will. I don't know.
I miss her so much I just want to scream. I want her to call and ask me if we've found a house yet, everyday... and drive me crazy. I want her to ask me a thousand questions about this house we did find and tell me all the reasons I should be thankful for it. And I want her to tell me God has a plan and it will work out and just to borrow a little bit of her faith... or presumption... or whatever it was that caused her to believe. I want to have the rose colored glasses she did and always look on the bright side even annoyingly finding the silver lining in everything.
Oh Mom, I miss you. Can you call me just one more time?
Currently, "Not Yes" seems to be an answer we are getting frequently.
Our first "Not Yes" was in Washington while we were in the car with the real estate agent driving away from the property on which we were about to make an offer. Doug's phone and my phone rang at the same time. On my line was our Houston real estate agent informing us that the sale on our house had fallen through and on Doug's line was his boss back pedaling, insisting he come back to Houston in January after he had, on a previous call, told him he was sure it would be "no big deal" if we relocated to Washington.
We've had many "Not Yeses" since then.
The Legends House, perfect square footage, good location, and an IRS lien.
A very nice rental in a desirable neighborhood... not available until July.
A five bedroom, three bedroom, 4000 square foot house, in our price range... doesn't allow children, desires a retired couple. (Who does that?!)
House after house after house with offers made just before we arrived, sellers deciding not to sell, and so many other circumstances that prevented us from acquiring the house.
I have been praying for a home to just settle in.
And I feel like God is truly challenging me with this:
This world is not my home. I am not SUPPOSED TO feel settled here! Like a soldier on the battlefield I can have "base" but my "base" is not my home.
But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.
Philippians 3:20
And this, so this. Philippians 4:12-13
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
We are still currently looking for a home to rent or buy if it's right. But are content to wait on the LORD. (OK, maybe content is a bit of a faith filled statement, but we are trying)
(Here's our specs in case you're wondering 5 bdrm, 3 bath, 3500sq ft minimum, with room for kids to play outside $350K or less or $2500/month)
And we are not sure if this is a NOT YES or not...
We now have more opportunity to trust the Lord since Doug's company was sold a few weeks ago and he gets to present his department to the bosses of the new company, "So they can know all that they will need to know." Nice. We've been down this road before and despite reassurances, we don't feel very reassured.
It's nice to sing this song, it's another thing entirely to live it.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
My husband assured me today that God hasn't forgotten us. I burst into tears. Truly, I did. He then relayed a conversation that he had this morning that is so GOD. No one will ever convince me it's a coincidence.
Doug had filled out a prayer request and took it to the little box on the wall, there was a guy standing there. This conversation ensued:
Doug: "Are you a prayer guy?"
Usher: "No, I'm an usher" Pause... "But I can pray, I guess."
Doug: "Well, I'm a training manager and my company was just bought out by a larger company and my job is a little uncertain right now"
Usher: Chuckling, "Well, now I know why God sent you to me. You see, I'm a trainer. A few weeks ago, my company was bought out and my job was uncertain. I ended up getting offered another position in the new company."
WHAT?! THE NOT-A-PRAYER-GUY STANDING AT THE EXACT SPOT MY (never-fills-out prayer-requests) HUSBAND WALKED TO!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
P.S.I had literally just finished writing this post and handing it to my husband to proofread for me when my six year old Sarah started shouting, "COME OUTSIDE AND SEE THE RAINBOW!" over and over. We all went and were inspired by the sign of God's promise. Truly, He has not forgotten us.
It seems like last week that we started this homeschool journey. I was convinced I was going to ruin my Emily. I remember so clearly the day Doug brought her home from Kindergarten, she was crying again. He matter-of-factly told me, "I unenrolled her from school. We are going to homeschool." Now, we had talked about homeschooling someday, when life was normal. (At that point I still expected life to get "normal") Panicked, I stammered, but, but, but... I'm pregnant, we are living with your parents, I, I, I can't do this now. Doug looked at me, smiled and said, "Stacy, it's Kindergarten, shapes, numbers, letters, colors. I'm pretty sure you know the material." And so began our homeschool journey.
Now here she is all grown up, mostly.
I'm happy to say she knows all her shapes and colors, letters and numbers.
She graduated. SHE DID IT!
This whole homeschool Mom package comes with all sorts of crazy emotions on Graduation Day. Not only am I incredibly proud of my daughter, I'm also incredibly proud of me.
I DID IT!
I successfully homeschooled a child for her entire school career. She has written a novel and continues to love and pursue writing. She has accumulated dozens of college credits while finishing high school. She reads everything and thinks deeply.
And then there's the part of me that is far less confident. Did I do enough? Did I teach her all she needs to know? What did I miss? And why couldn't I help her not struggle with math?
I am so thankful for GRACE! And for a God who fills in the gaps. And the sweet fruit that has grown from the seeds of perseverance, peace, hope, and love.
Most importantly, she loves. She loves Jesus. She loves her parents. She loves her siblings. She loves others. Seeing her grow in her relationships is the most important and rewarding part of this journey. When I see those relationships growing I am exceedingly thankful and proud.
Emily has so many gifts and talents I cannot wait to see how God uses them. She is a gift and a blessing to us. I love our chats, our coffee dates, our shopping sprees, and the time we have to spend together.
Spread your wings and fly, Girlie. Good things are in store!
I'm not sure what happened, I see nothing in the background stats or anything I can decipher... I guess Blogger just knew that all my faithful followers wanted to read my post about moving from Richard Bong State Park in Wisconsin to Zion, IL.
Strange, this internet!
I had updated and was trying to post my "Support" page. I'll just post it here. I'm sorry for the confusion.
So, there's this baby... she's stolen my heart. We have started the process of ADOPTION!
As I’m sure you know, it is very expensive to adopt and we are researching and applying for grants and other financial help. If you would like to give financially, Grace Church of Kingwood has a special adoption fund to which you may contribute for us.
Mail check to:
Grace Church of Kingwood, 807 Russell Palmer Rd., Kingwood, TX 77339 attn: Dave Kinison
Don't write our names on the memo line of the check.
Either leave the memo line blank and attach a note with the designation to the adoption fund for Audirsch. Or write "adoption special fund" on the memo line.
Honestly, I feared Mother's Day this year. After my mom graduated to Heaven on December 19, 2013, I felt that Mother's Day could not be anything other than a big blubbering mess this year and just wanted to hide from it.
But God....
God allowed us to get our preliminary approval from China for adopting our sweet China Baby on Friday, just before Mother's Day weekend.
God allowed us to put an offer on a house on Saturday of Mother's Day weekend.
God spoke to me in worship in a very profound and intimate way I have not experienced since Washington, showing me His Glory and His plan for the new earth after He returns in a beautiful and touching picture in my heart and mind.
And my Dad... sent flowers and chocolates for me.
And my husband... my adventurous, fun, crazy, thoughtful, man bought me this...
And this... A NEW LAPTOP! I have so missed having a REAL computer to use. I compose so much better on a keyboard (first world problem, seriously) and can ahem, see so much better when the font is at least 12 point!
(I know, my photography skills are astounding.)
So, I post this not to brag, but to share the blessing of what I thought this year was going to be compared to what it was. Life has so many ups and downs. I feel like Mother's Day 2013 and Mother's Day 2014 are a living picture for me of Philippians 4:12-13.
"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.
I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
Today is the birthday of a man who has become my Dad.
I don't use that term lightly. It's a term that's earned through sacrifice.
Romans 13:7 tells us to pay honor to whom honor is due.
When I was a baby the man that was my mother's husband abandoned us as he had done several times before. My mother had no idea when she married him that he was still married and had been several times before.
My mom raised us in the 1970s and 80s alone when raising children alone was an anomaly. I've written much in the past few months about our life growing up but for this post suffice it to say it was a faith-filled upbringing.
In 1989 my mother married Ron Kahns, she took his name, his family, his home and he in turn took hers. Their hearts were melded and I gained a Dad that day. It would be years before I fully appreciated the gift I had been given.
Ron has stood by us through thick and thin. He's offered advice when asked, helped with some home improvement projects around our house ( when we had one!) and he's loved and supported us. Now we are kind of leaning on each other.
So happy day that you were born Dad! I'm so blessed that God out you in our family!
(P.s. Doug says I'm trying to turn you into a blubbering fool!.., but I mean every word)
Who knew missing someone would take so much energy.
I crashed today.
I had a vivid dream this morning where I sat with my mom. We held hands. We did that a lot in the days we had with her before she died. I told her "I know I'm dreaming, so I'm not going to look at you because if I do you'll go away, so let's just sit awhile." So we did and suddenly there were innumerable stars everywhere like I've never seen and they were alive and flowing like flocks of birds fly. It was the first dream I've had where I saw her and felt her present with me.
I've prayed for that presence and now maybe I know why God has said no until now, because it messed me up.
I woke up and cried all morning. I listened to "Homesick" by Mercy Me and "Blessings" by Laura Story and "Amazing Grace, My Chains are Gone" by Chris Tomlin which was played at her funeral and cried some more. At one point my Natalie came and held my hand during "Homesick", it's a sweet moment I will treasure.
Grief is exhausting.
After the "homesick" song I said to my Natalie, well, we are still here so God must have something for us to do here. Otherwise we wouldn't be here anymore. Lord, help us to live a life worthy of the calling we have received.
Right now, we are waiting... And apparently waiting is energizing, at least according to Isaiah 40:31. Yes, Lord. We will wait on you, and trust you for whatever comes from your hand.
They that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength
We are living in such a strange place right now. We have a circle of people who love us asking frequently, "So, what's the plan now? And are you glad to be back? And what's next, where are you going to live."
I've jokingly said, I guess God wants us to be flaky!
But it is not a natural or easy place to walk. While we are doing well and loving each other it does feel like we are in a waiting room.
You know that feeling? You know you will be called... Eventually. You know you will get to speak with the right people and get the information you need... Eventually. And so you wait.
We could leave. There's not a lack of resources, time, money, or ideas. BUT GOD has told us to wait. I mean really, He even sent me a voicemail from Heaven a few weeks ago!
Apparently I needed a reminder again today after calling several campgrounds experiencing rejection after rejection due to our family size. (P.S. We never had this much trouble in any other part of the country, we are really thrown by it here, if you can't tell).
While geocaching today, in the very first cache, the finders directly before us wrote these two scriptures on the log. They are both scriptures my mother quoted frequently.
Isaiah 30:21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”
Now check this out! God is AMAZING.
STACY, GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!
Isaiah 40:31 but they who WAIT for the Lord shall renew their strength;they shall mount up with wings like eagles;they shall run and not be weary;they shall walk and not faint.
I'm living in a fog. I just can't think. We are truly living one day at a time in our RV, home, but not home. Waking up and doing life but I am not myself.
The words that come to mind are subdued, brain fogged, reflective, and distracted.
I thought leaving Washington was hard.
I thought having a miscarriage was hard.
I thought having food poisoning the day we were moving was hard.
I thought the difficulties with selling our house were hard.
And then my mom died.
I didn't appreciate her enough when she was here. I talked to her almost daily but did I really listen?
God gave me a gift today of two forgotten voicemails. I got to hear my mom sing Happy Birthday and encourage me with scripture again.
"Hi Stacy, this is Mom. It's your Mother calling. I have a scripture for you to remember 'They that wait upon The Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles. They will walk and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.' So teach me Lord to wait."
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